I’m prone to what I call playing “tapes” in my mind—going over conversations in the past in which I failed to respond to someone who insulted me or insulted someone else or said something vicious or stupid that ought to be contradicted, and editing the “tape” so that I responded the way I would like to have. Unlike the person described above, I am able (or think I am able) to keep separate what happened and what I would have liked to happen. But at the same time, it is important to me to turn these tapes off.
- Going over these conversations does me no good, and it does neither good nor harm to the other party in the conversation.
- My anger is not really directed at the other person. It is directed at myself for failing to respond adequately.
- My failure to respond adequately is at least partly and…
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